


Some Lies Are Good

by fragilecapricornpanic



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Angst, Angst and Humor, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Good Parent Allison Hargreeves, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, One Shot, One Shot Collection, POV Alternating, Pre-Canon, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Protective Ben Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: Whenever Klaus left rehab he made sure to keep the chip when he could. Sometimes to trade it for drugs or alcohol, but also sometimes to aid a lie. It wasn’t like this time he was lying to steal from someone, it barely even counted as a lie. It was just like Santa Claus. Ha. Santa Klaus. Some lies are good. Klaus honestly had no idea whether Allison was going to believe him, or his bullshit chip - but it was worth a shot. It was the loudest impulse screaming out at him. Klaus was desperate to meet his baby niece.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Ben Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Claire & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 8
Kudos: 144





	Some Lies Are Good

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, had to repost because it went weird!

“This is messed up.” Ben predictably nagged. Klaus pettily rolled his eyes, taking a drag of his joint as he continued to clumsily scramble through the change from his pockets. “Look, if you don’t like my plan then go do some other ghostie shit.” Aha! Finally, $2.50. Putting the coins in the machine took quite a while since they were made up of cents at a time. Say what you like about churches, but those thingies they pass around and put money in are great sources of income. Well, maybe not great, but definitely oh so handy. “I’m just saying I don’t think you should lie about this, do you really wanna be around a newborn when you’re high and drunk? Allison’s just looking out for her kid.” Ben haughtily lectured, something that he did so much it had lost any effect. Not that Klaus ever really listened to him to begin with. “Also, that’s gonna fall out of your mouth.” Ben pointed to the joint teetering dangerously close to falling from Klaus’ half-ass attempt to keep it in his mouth.

“I thought you didn’t like me smoking, Benny?” Klaus teased with a wink, grabbing the joint in his hand now that he’d loaded the coins in the machine. Whenever Klaus left rehab he made sure to keep the chip when he could. Sometimes to trade it for drugs or alcohol, but also sometimes to aid a lie. It wasn’t like this time he was lying to steal from someone, it barely even counted as a lie. It was just like Santa Claus. Ha. Santa Klaus. Some lies are good. Klaus honestly had no idea whether Allison was going to believe him, or his bullshit chip - but it was worth a shot. It was the loudest impulse currently screaming out at him. Klaus was absolutely desperate to meet his baby niece.

Phasing back out of the phone booth, Ben paced around it with agitation. He was extremely pissed at Klaus for this stupid scheme. It was like his brother was unable to tell the truth about anything, it was maddening. Ben knew that half the time Klaus didn’t even tell the truth to _him_ , and he was a goddamn ghost who followed him around. Lying to him was pointless. Klaus lied to himself too, every single day. No wonder none of their siblings were willing to believe Ben was a ghost.

“Heeeeeey!” Klaus chirpily drawled as Allison’s secretary, or assistant or _whatever_ , answered the phone. “Mr Hargreeves, you know Allison made it clear that she wasn’t going to enable you any lo-“ Christ, who put the stick up Allison’s ass? It wasn’t like she didn’t have the money to enable him. “No! It’s not about that.” Klaus could sense she was going to interrupt and continue the uppity lecture. This woman always whined a great deal, she was like Ben. “Samantha-“ he hastily tried to get the ball back in his court. “It’s Sarah.” she sighed with irritation. “Right, right! Saraaaah. I knew that. I was just playing with you, since we’re such good buds!” Klaus should really start at least attempting to learn peoples’ names. “Anyway, _Sarah_ , I was wondering if you could connect me to Allison just this one time. I swear to god I’m not asking for anything!” Well, he kind of was asking for something - but it wasn’t like it was money or anything. “I’m clean, just done 30 days in rehab. I wanted to come meet my niece.”

Ben popped his head back into the booth to check in on Klaus’ nonsense, he huffed with disappointment when he received an ecstatic grin and thumbs up. Exiting the booth again, Ben wished he was capable of punching his brother. Their niece was just a tiny, helpless infant. She shouldn’t be around someone as unstable as Klaus. He couldn’t take care of himself, he shouldn’t be trusted with being around a child. Their heads were so fucking soft! The thought alone was inducing anxiety in Ben. He was also incredibly jealous, so much that it hurt... 

This was going a lot better than Klaus honestly expected. Why the hell did Allison believe him? Klaus wouldn’t even believe himself. He was also fairly certain he was goddamn slurring. It was a good job Allison was utterly gorgeous because she clearly didn’t have much going on up there. “I’m so happy for you. What made rehab finally stick?” Allison sounded utterly thrilled with relief. Oh shit, Klaus hadn’t planned this far ahead. Ohshitohshitohshit. Fuck it, he’d been to enough meetings to know some frightfully harrowing stories of so called rock bottom. There were so many options to choose from, Klaus wasn’t sure which would be the most entertaining.

Ben frowned as Allison was clearly believing this bullshit. He couldn’t blame her for clinging to the hope that Klaus could one day change. It was depressing watching him go through the same tired old routine day in and day out. The others probably were more desperate for him to get sober than Ben, since they’d had to grieve for Ben. He hadn’t. He imagined it must be a constant worry for their other siblings that yet another brother was going to be lost. Klaus insisted Five wasn’t dead, but it was kind of hard to believe after so many years without a trace of him. Three out of five boys left wasn’t exactly comforting. Ben couldn’t blame Allison for being so sanguine it was clouding her better judgement. Entering back into the booth out of pure disapproving nosiness, Ben shook his head at his brother’s theatrics. It was like Klaus always felt he was on a stage. It was admittedly kind of entertaining, but Ben didn’t let that show on his face.

“-and his funeral was basically empty, it was so sad,” Klaus faked a sniffle “it made me realise this was going to happen to me...” he hoped he wasn’t being too dramatic. Klaus could tell from Ben’s face that his fake sobs were toeing the line. He just couldn’t resist. “My god Klaus, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine.” Allison gloomily responded, making Klaus wince slightly at her clearly being touched by his lies. They were worth it though, for the end result. “Thanks...” Klaus drawled awkwardly, pushing any guilt-filled doubts to the back of his mind. “Where should I send your plane tickets? You’re going to love Claire!” It wasn’t fair that Allison was the famous actress, clearly Klaus had the most talent... and beauty. Klaus triumphantly held up a hand for Ben to _”high-five“_ , receiving his brother’s middle finger instead.

“I’m not encouraging this.” Ben muttered, storming back onto the sidewalk. His brother had been on a week long bender, looking about a moment away from passing out - yet he thought right now was the time to make this stupid decision. Allison was going to be deeply disappointed when she discovered Klaus hadn’t changed in the slightest. She was also likely going to be understandably enraged when she inevitably found out she let her newborn be held by someone under the influence. Hopefully Allison would realise Klaus was bullshitting before then, their brother wasn’t exactly subtle with his insobriety. A tiny part of Ben was a little bit pleased Klaus was going to visit though... at least then Ben would be able to take a peek at his niece. It would never be the same as the opportunity Klaus had, but Ben was happy to chalk it up as a win.

When Klaus hung up and turned around, all he could see was Ben’s glare. “Well excuuuuuse me for wanting to meet my adorable little baby niece!” he vehemently yelled, causing a woman walking past on the sidewalk to jump out of her skin, and quickly scurry down the street. The awkward silence lingered in the air until the lady was out of earshot. “I just want one good thing in my life. Don’t you wanna like, haunt her?” Klaus vaguely gestured a ghostly motion. “Can’t babies see dead people, or is that a myth? It’s funny that I don’t really know a thing about the afte-“ Klaus’ stream of consciousness was interrupted by Ben clicking in his face, he guessed he must have zoned out thinking about ghosts and babies. Huh, had Klaus ever seen a ghost baby? He didn’t think so. That’s weird. Maybe their souls aren- oh shit, he must’ve done it again because the clicking had returned. Ben met his eye and let out a deep sigh. “I want you to meet her too, I just don’t want you to fuck anything up.” Ben looked apologetic even as the words left his dumb dead mouth. 

Dejectedly slumping down to sit on the curb, Klaus rested his head against the phone booth he just exited. He wasn’t even sure where he was. When did he last eat or sleep? Klaus wasn’t sure, but he must look like shit, he _felt_ like shit. Ben crouched down to meet his eyes, looking filled with guilt. “I don’t mean that _you’re_ a fuck up.” Klaus snorted dismissively, he absolutely was a fuck up. A human dumpster fire, if you will. Ben gave him a pointed glare that melted to pity. Klaus goddamn hated pity when it wasn’t benefiting him. “I just mean... what if you could actually get sober? Go back to rehab, actually try this time?” Welp, that was a nice little heart to heart whilst it’s lasted, but that was enough of that. He was never getting sober. Klaus would throw nearly every moral out of the window to avoid that.

Klaus jumped up, well, he attempted to - it was more of a swaying scramble - and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. He was way too tired to hear this lecture for the millionth time. “I’m going to get so gloriously high that I can’t see you-” he fiercely pointed at his brother “-for a few hours of goddamn peace.” They both knew that Klaus unfortunately could never get rid of Ben, but maybe if he turned himself into a vegetable he wouldn’t be aware of his nagging. That usually worked. Klaus’ outburst didn’t have the effect on Ben that he was hoping for, his brother was instead looking towards the phone booth with a smug grin. _Oh_. Klaus faced the disgustedly outraged lady who must have gone in the phone booth after him, and banged on the glass. “If I’d have known I had an audience, I would’ve put on more of a show!” he wobbly dropped into a curtsy before promptly spinning around and staggering into an alley. At least he was going to meet Claire.


End file.
